You Are Not Your Business Results: How to Thrive In & Out of Work!

You Are Not Your Business Results

And what I want to talk to you about today is your business identity and how it might be tripping you up.  How does your business identity trip you up?

Well, it’s like this, as we, get involved with the business, whether you’re a founder or if you buy a business, we know it takes a lot of our time, energy focus, emotion, and we become “The Business Owner”, right?

We become very identified with our businesses and sometimes to the exclusion of other identities that we need to maintain and support.

The identity of being a brother, a sister, a son, a daughter, a mother, a father, a friend, a coach to the little league team, whatever the case might be.

We can be so pulled into our businesses that we kind of lose focus on the other areas of life that we have an identity.  And what happens here is that if our business is doing well, we feel good about ourselves, right?

We can really link how we feel about ourselves, to how our business is doing.

And that’s called performance based esteem.

And we want to be careful about that because if we’re too linked to how we feel with how our business is doing.

If our business starts not doing so well, we might not be feeling so great about ourselves, which is going to impact every other aspect of life, including our relationships.

So we need to have an identity outside of the business.  And that can be tricky to do.  The business demands so much of us from time to time.

The other spot that this comes up is when it comes time to sell.  Sometimes what happens a business owner is looking to sell their business.  And when they do, they’re really at a loss, they’ve been running the business 10, 15, 20 years, become identified with it, and then all of a sudden the business is gone.

And with it a really large chunk of their identity.

And this leads to anxiety and depression and other mental health challenges, because the person, The Business Owner, who is no longer a business owner really doesn’t know who they are in the world.  They haven’t been caretaking those other aspects of their life.

So as a business owner, what I want you to do is, to take a bit of stock here and understand how much of how you feel about yourself is really linked to your business results, and what’s going on with your company and how much is truly related to other aspects of life.

How much do you believe in yourself and value yourself outside of that business owner identity?

This is a critical thing.

I see a lot of business owners that are too identified with their business and ignoring these other areas of life and it leads to marital breakdown, issues with kids, losing friendships, becoming lonely.  And I hear so many business owners say, “It’s lonely at the top.”

Well, yeah it is because we don’t make the time to nurture and cultivate other relationships outside the business because we have the business owner identity, right?

So we need to make sure that we’re examining our life from time to time, and how are we doing in these other areas?

Are we making and taking the time for family?  Are we going to our kids’ games or the recitals?

Are we making time for friends?  Are there people you haven’t caught up with in a awhile that you miss?  The business is taking you away from those things.

First of all, you’re not alone.  This is common.

I see far too many business owners, and I was like that too back when I was running my technology company.  I got pulled in so many directions.  I didn’t see friends for months at a time.  I missed my family, coming home late all the time.

If that’s you, don’t worry.  You can change that.  Goodness, if I could change it, you can absolutely change it.

So I want you to just to take stock this week of how are you looking after the rest of your life, physical, mental, emotional, relationships, things like that.

Where’s the business getting in the way and what do you need to do about it?  Well, it starts by making a decision to do something about it.

First steps can be determined, but it’s going to be about being able to step back just a little bit, to give yourself some breathing space, to identify with the other, re-identify I suppose with other areas of your life and disconnect yourself a little bit of how you feel about yourself and who you see yourself as with how your business is doing. 

So if you’re feeling you’re too stuck into your business more than you would like, you’re not sure how to untangle a little bit, despite your business doing great, hit me up for a chat.

I’m happy to help and help you understand where you need to start to step back so you can engage in the other areas of life that you really want to.

Remember guys and gals, business is there to help you have a better life.  It doesn’t need to be the thing that drains the life out of you.  It doesn’t need to be like that. 

So have yourself a fantastic and balanced week

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