Let’s define confidence – I like to define it as “knowing what to do in a given situation and believing that taking that action is going to lead to a successful outcome”.
Pretty straightforward – if we think we know what to do and that when we try it it’s going to work we’ll actually take action on things.
So here’s where the confidence paradox comes in –
But the thing is, we get confidence by knowing what works, so sometimes we just have to get started! We don’t have to have it completely, but just take the very first step and then see where do we go from there. It’s like driving down the road in the fog and you can only see to the end of your headlights but as you drive you can see a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more.
You can tell what to do after you just start taking some action, but let’s back up for a second – how do we actually get to the point where we will take some action?
So a couple things – think back in your past: when was a time you want to do something and you had a little fear, you were lacking confidence, but you actually did it? What was the thought process that led to you actually taking action and moving through that fear and doing the thing that you wanted to do?
Maybe you can draw upon that same resource or that same internal self-talk of “Hey, I can do it!” or wherever that internal motivation was.
The next thing is external; think of somebody that you know that doesn’t have confidence in something but you totally believe they can do it, like you just can’t believe why they’re not trying it because you just know they could do, it you have total confidence in them!
Maybe it’s a parent, friend, relative – maybe it’s your coach – it’s a mentor of some type, someone in business that you know, in life that you know…someone that really believes in you. Why don’t you have a talk with them and let them know what you want to do and get their opinion and get some feedback from them – let them pour their confidence into you!
That’s how we can get around the confidence paradox of just getting started, so we can develop more confidence and take that next step – and get more confidence, and change directions, and keep going and pretty soon – let’s go back to the definition now –we know what works in that situation and we have the level of belief (even if it’s coming from external sources) that when we continue to take action, we’re going to have a successful outcome.
So that’s it for this week. I encourage you to think back on how you got started in the past on something you were fearful of or didn’t have confidence – who could you reach out to now?
If you don’t have someone to reach out to – give me a cal!l Drop me a line, I’m happy to have a chat with you anytime about what it is that you’re looking to do, and I can help you find that internal confidence as well to take action.
That’s it for this week – have a good one, see you next time, and happy action taking!
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